Do you have a Monkey on your shoulder?

Ksenija Frelih
3 min readJan 8, 2024

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Picture this: a bustling workshop meeting room where managers juggle their responsibilities between urgent emails, critical phone calls, and laptops that never seem to close. It’s a scenario I often witness during my training sessions: a mix of employees and their managers seeking to enhance their leadership skills.

Occasionally, a few managers leave the workshop meeting room to do something critical.

I guess.

They seem busy and irreplaceable.

I usually have pretty mixed groups when I’m doing the workshops. I have the employees and their managers.

Now, here’s where the story takes a provocative turn. As they return from their urgent tasks, I tell them,

“I see; you must be dealing with a critical case.

But, with all due respect, I believe you are not a good manager.”

Shocked expressions follow, and I almost hear their thoughts: “What on earth is this about?”

I pose a simple question to them: When they step outside during a crisis, do they genuinely think their employees can handle it on their own? Surprisingly, 90% of them expressed confidence that their team could handle the situation without them. So, I ask, “Why did they call you, then?”

The answer is a common refrain: “They need somebody to decide, and that’s where I come in. I want to be there for them.”

I continue to dig.

“So you tend to have a lot of monkeys, then?”

“Monkeys?”

Yes, monkeys.

It can happen to all managers, even the best ones.

Somebody knocks on the door, and they say boss, we have a problem. Of course, there’s a man or a woman, and you want to help because they have a problem.

Here’s where the term “monkeys” comes into play. I clarify that ‘monkeys’ are simply a metaphor for the problems employees bring to your door.

When you say, “I don’t have time right now. I’ll deal with this later,” they’ve just passed the monkey (problem) onto your shoulder.

The minute when you say, look, I don’t have time right now. I will deal with this later; the monkey jumps on your shoulder. It becomes a YOUR problem.

So it’s your problem now; it’s your monkey.

And if that happens quite often and you don’t have the time, if you have your work, you have many monkeys in your office and on your shoulder. And what happens because you’re a manager?

Do these monkeys wait for you in your office?

Imagine your office as a jungle, and these ‘monkeys’ are swinging from your shoulders to theirs.

Now, what happens when you have a lot of monkeys? They follow you home. Suddenly, your zoo is with you, and it’s not a delightful sight.

The key?

Don’t let those monkeys (problems) sit on your shoulder!

When someone approaches with a problem, request a few minutes. Sometimes, this time buffer makes all the difference. Finish your task, and then give them your undivided attention. By doing this, you manage your time wisely and empower your team to solve problems independently.

So, dear leaders, the next time a ‘monkey’ knocks on your door, pause, leverage that time buffer, and avoid carrying a zoo of problems on your shoulders. 🐵🙌

#LeadershipLessons #MonkeyBusiness #Prioritization #LeadershipSkills

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Ksenija Frelih
Ksenija Frelih

Written by Ksenija Frelih

As a proud generalist and unapologetic polymath, I dance through the diverse realms of education, quality, and beyond.

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